This is my second time. The second time to send a child to kindergarten. And while some experiences are easier once you have already been through them, I can honestly say that this was not one of those. It was just as hard this morning as I remember it being 2 years ago when my son went to kindergarten.
She had a rough year last year in pre-K and we have done ALOT of praying (and totally stressing) about this year. But surprisingly enough (and thank goodness!), today was harder on me than it was on her. And despite all the praying we had done to prepare and the calm we felt knowing that her teacher and class were going to be great, a wave of emotions hit me all at once.
And similar to what I wrote when Cole started kindergarten, I felt those same words and emotions pouring out again……
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At breakfast, I overheard her big brother explaining lunch room procedures, describing the playground, and doing anything he could to make her ready for the day. And I smiled knowing he would be there to take care of her.
After we we made it to school, she walked in the door to her class like she had been there a million times before.
Sat down with only slight hesitation in the company of her good friend and then looked at me to leave.
I whispered in her ear, ‘have a good day sweet girl. love you’.
And she said out loud ‘Love you too. And I will mom, I love school days already’.
The teacher slightly waved as I left, and I couldn’t help but think, ‘is this it?’.
That’s all you need from me?
That’s all she needs from me?
A simple wave goodbye?
When I got back in the car, I just had to sit there for a moment. And then memories of the last five years seemed to hit at once.
Her first smile.
Her first steps.
Her first words.
Her obsession for all thing crafty and cute.
Her kind heart and compassionate spirit.
And now I had another first to add to the list.
Her first day of school.
How could we be here already?
Have we done enough to prepare her?
Have we really given her what she needs to be successful?
Because now, everyday, she has to rely on her own thoughts and decisions without our constant supervision. It’s her first real step towards independence. And my first real step towards letting go.
When I picked her up, she came running to our car in the drive through line.
Smiling.
Ready for school tomorrow.
I couldn’t be prouder of her.
And never so thankful for the awesome big brother she has to show her the ropes.
